My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
