cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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