how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize