Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize