Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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