i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
