Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
