I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
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I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
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