Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
