Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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