i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
