i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
