A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
