He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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