U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
