Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
