So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
