Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think I am morally bankrupt
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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