No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
