I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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