Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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