she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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