I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
