I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
