Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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