great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize