All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
