The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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