Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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