she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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