Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well you can't waste a boner
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
