I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
