Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
