Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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