So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
