I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
