Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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