So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
