Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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