I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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