absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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