she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
