You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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