I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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