I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
did i just pee glitter
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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