do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We named our party play list daddy issues
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
