and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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