YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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