is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
