Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
