Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
