great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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