a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
