Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Houston, we have a squirter
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
