they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
