btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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