it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have fence marks all over my body
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
