I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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