Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I will pee on everything he values.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize