So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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