i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
