a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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