She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm too high and old for this...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
