Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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