508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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