He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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