So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
